.

Did you ever read those books as a kid where you can pick from a variety of endings? I've decided that's exactly how I'm going to end "my story" before moving on to my whole new
"important stuff only and anonymous, at that"
gig. As far as my personal life goes, you can just go ahead and select from the following:

1) the neuro calls today, tells me it's not "a mass" after all, come to find out it's one of those Brain Worms, and they flush cynaide in my ears till the worm escapes, boring a hole through my right temple and leaving me with a complete air hole that runs straight through my brain, in one temple and out the other, leaving me with the most perfect excuse ever as to why I will not listen to reason, seeing as how it literally goes in one ear and out the other.

2) the neuro calls today and says it's harmless, and prescribes me a good dose of steroids as I requested, which help me to steadily increase in energy, stamina, and strength over due time, and I grow lean and hard as a result, and find myself unwittingly attracted to female bodybuil

wait

3) I get the call today that all's well, no treatment is needed, just get by the best I can, so I slowly grow calm, normal, and mature, join a church, meet that tall man who doesn't know who Elvis is, and we move to the woods and have 20 children, one after the next, bam bam bam, and I die old, happy, and all stretchy and saggy but full of peace and joy,

or

4) they operate, take out the mass, and my shaved head never regrows the hair, and I accidentally sort of like it, and start making edgy videos like Sinead O'Connor, where I wear big boots and shout at the camera



I don't care how it all ends. What's my life anyway? What's your life? In the end, it's Jesus. It's all Jesus, man.